I’m shaking.
My fingers trembling and sweat dripping down my forehead. I cannot tell if it is sickness or nerves, a healthy mixture of both I imagine that have hit me like a train making it difficult to breathe or function entirely. The more I read the worse I feel. I question my own morals – do i just ignore this and pretend this hasn’t happened, after all I love this man, I’ve given him everything and as I think about it I worry – what if he leaves me and I end up alone.
Some may stop reading at this point and think well you young lady are and idiot and at this moment writing it I would be inclined looking back on it to agree, but in the moment fear and comfort and a crazy whirlwind of other thoughts take over and being able to see clearly is an option that is very much non-existent.
Before I go any further I want to put things into some perspective, the dating app used in this incident is a partially paid dating app. In order to have access to chat to people you have to fork out a bit of money, you are actively seeking companionship so this is not too bad especially if you are single and looking for love! It is however considered a bit shady when you are a married man of two years using a joint credit card account to purchase this ability.
On this app it requires pictures and a short description of yourself to entice others to want to talk to you. His description goes on to talk about his career, his likes, dislikes, where he has traveled and how he is looking to further that experience with someone special. Most of it is a lie, a fabrication of some semi-exciting life events and a wash up story regarding a false education.
His picture, a professionally shot perfectly angled portrait of himself. The lighting is so complimentary to his strong features and the image is black and white, his hair neatly styled, he’s dressed quite smart, appears to be a suit shirt of sorts and a nice tie. Just below his left shoulder is a gorgeous rose pinned to his shirt. He looks happy.
I look at the photo examining every inch of it, it doesn’t take more that a second for me to realize… this is a photograph from our wedding day.
Laura Loves It 