There is no use crying over a Big Mac.

A good 5 minutes passes. It’s a good job I am in this car on my own. My face is puffy and sore and my attempt at making myself look like a normal human being is failing. I’ve heard off my best friend this Morning and my parents, even my boss has checked in, begrudgingly

The begging begins

Fear.  A mixed feeling of dread and reverence. Finally, my phone buzzes. “I really am so sorry. I know there is nothing I can do right now to put things right. I was so scared I was losing you I stupidly thought sleeping with someone else would take the pressure off of you!”  Take the

Pinch me I must be dreaming.

I slept. To my surprise. Maybe it was all of the tears, their salty droplets drying out my skin, making my eyes feel sore and heavy. I’m not one of those who can’t sleep, I will sleep in most situations it can sometimes just take a while. I always thought that made me a bit

That’s what friends are for.

The phone is ringing but I’m still at a loss for what to say. Everything is such a blur, I am not even sure at this point how to tell my best friends. She’s heavily pregnant and has a life of her own, I don’t want to burden her with my issues but no one

Wake up Laura.

I can taste stale breath and have a burning sensation sitting in the back of my throat, my eyes bloodshot and so heavy almost dry with no tears left to cry. There is nothing about this situation that feels real, I’m in disbelief. I’m talking but all of my words feel like lies as they

Where did Laura go?

*Breathes deeply through nose* … and hold 2 3 4 … release. It’s been a crazy couple of weeks for me. Amazing career move, house move, life completely up in the air! I am finally back in the North where I belong, home with my family and surrounded by the ones who care. I am

How am I supposed to do this?

I recall sitting on that uncomfortable damp single bed, head in hands, in utter shock. When you have been married and living together for several years you start to separate your family life from your married life, you discuss relationship issues less and less and things become a purely need to know and private basis, but

Lies, lies, lies. Part 2

I titled this section ‘Lies, lies, lies’, as at this point in my account of what happened, not only was I being grossly lied to by my husband but even I did not know how I was going to be able to tell the truth. This thought process a person goes through when they are

Lies, lies, lies. Part 1

Tears are rolling down my cheeks. I remember sitting on the end of the tiny single bed looking at my phone in desperation, I wanted it to be a complete lie, a bad dream, a nightmare. I re-read all of the messages, I don’t understand why I put myself through this because it doesn’t make

I am not OK. Part 2

I’m shaking. My fingers trembling and sweat dripping down my forehead.  I cannot tell if it is sickness or nerves, a healthy mixture of both I imagine that have hit me like a train making it difficult to breathe or function entirely. The more I read the worse I feel. I question my own morals