Pinch me I must be dreaming.

I slept. To my surprise.

Maybe it was all of the tears, their salty droplets drying out my skin, making my eyes feel sore and heavy.

I’m not one of those who can’t sleep, I will sleep in most situations it can sometimes just take a while. I always thought that made me a bit odd but I think sometimes no matter how hard something is my body just tells me sleep will make it better.

I hoped in this case I was going to wake from a horrific nightmare and text him good morning like I always did if I hadn’t seen him that morning.

I hadn’t even heard from him, it’s like the last 8 years we had spent together meant nothing to him. I had heard from his mum, surprisingly even with her meddling ways throughout our entire relationship she still showed a little bit of compassion – not much, she had never been an easy person to get on with. She was almost accepting of it – not the kind of thing you expect when you’ve just told someone their son has had an affair and destroyed someone’s life but I guess you learn a lot about people when you give them news.

Trying to shower and put my makeup on was difficult. I just remember throwing my hair up and putting on a bit of mascara and attempting to draw on my eyebrows. Makeup is tricky at the best of times.

At this point I’ve called him and had no answer and sent so many messages. I do not understand… he’s had the affair … why is he ignoring me?

I pinch myself, this has got to be a dream.